I Dreamt of a Whale Last Night

Indian head 

I dreamt of a whale last night.  It was an Arctic setting.  There was a large frozen-over body of water.  Off to the side was Diane, my wife, imploring me to be careful.  As I walked on the ice I could see a whale underneath it.  I can see it's eye looking up at me .

The ice is cracking underneath my feet.  As I'm about to break through, I wake up.

When I went to bed last night, I was struggling with an email request that was sent out from an old classmate.

The body of the email...

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To my dear family and friends...
For Christmas 2012 I will not be sending out Christmas cards, as much as I like the yearly sharing of the happenings and expressions of affection. I am going to be giving the money I would have spent (and a bit more, that I can spare) to a wonderful, admirable young Lakota family (emphasis is mine) in serious need. 

They are Lance Martin, Sr., his lovely wife, Frankki, and their four children, Lance Jr., Peta, Smoke and Debra Lynn. They are personal friends of mine and I was honored eleven and a half years ago to be their wedding photographer. Frankki is a homemaker and wonderful mother and cook whose even found the time to coach her daughter's middle school volleyball team. 

Lance does tattoos, beadwork, chops wood and does any other work he can find. Their only vehicle, Lance's beloved truck, Lucy, is unworkable and they can't afford parts, so he walks to jobs, sometimes 10 miles and more, each way.  They live on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation and their first home burned down about six years ago. Since then they have lived in a quite small mobile home and have been on a tribal waiting list for a newer, larger one, and on another list to get a water line run to their home. The water line came through this summer, and Lance put in many backbreaking hours of work helping the crew quicken the work. Six weeks ago they finally got their new mobile home, but the utility bills to keep it lighted and warm are higher, further pressing on their limited funds.  I've never done something like this before, but I am moved to do it this year for a number of reasons. 
First of all, this is a beautiful love story and marriage, one of the most inspiring I've personally known. 
Second, they are both loving and devoted parents. A couple of nights recently they have gone to bed hungry to make sure their kids had enough to eat.  They have NOTHING with which to buy their kids any kind of Christmas, and I know that breaks their hearts - not to mention their pride and spirit.

Third, though they have spoken openly on occasion about their struggles, they have never complained, whined, or blamed anyone else for their challenges. 
Fourth, I would help them myself a great deal more than I am if I had the funds, but I truly can't; and the only way I could think of to do something for them was to reach out to my most valuable resource - all of you.I am asking you, as a personal favor to me, to consider sending them just $5 ... anything, but I ask you NOT to tell them where you got their address or from whom you heard about their situation. Let the anonymity of it be a true Christmas miracle and raise their spirits. They are on Facebook, if you should be interested in contacting Lance about doing some custom-designed beadwork. He's quite a good artist and can make beaded medallions for pretty much every NFL team logo, among other items of potential interest.If you can and will help them, I thank you greatly. If you can't or won't, that's ok, too. 
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a truly Happy and prosperous New Year!
Their address is: P.O. Box 292, Manderson, SD 57756

***

What do I do?  It's Christmastime.  I think of Native Americans often.  I created the Indian Head bust at the top of this blog a bit like Richard Dreyfuss and mashed potatoes in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.   It dawned on me, much later in life that the land we live on was once their land.  Land that was taken from them in brutal ways.  Earlier in the day I had read a story in UTNE Reader about the history of American Massacres.  My thoughts would return throughout the day about how bloody our culture is.
CAN we handle the truth about ourselves?
Is it perhaps like a whale under the ice?  Watching us, waiting for us to break through?

I want to help this family.  I have to tell my wifie in the morning.  Ah, but it will be a discussion about money.  It seems like we always have discussions about money.  I don't want to give them $5,  I want to give them $500.  But why?  Why so generous?

Ah... how to break the ice.  There is a room in my house where I go to read, think, meditate, play guitar or sit in silence.  There are no electronics in this room.  Just guitars and books.  OK... once in a while I'll bring the iPad in...  but  not tonight.
I wanted to play some guitar, work on a Michael Hedges tune.  So I start to shuffle through my stacks of sheet music looking for Hedges and and old yellowed copy of Desiderata II drops on the floor in two pieces.

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IN WHATEVER RELIGION YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT, HOWEVER YOU HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP, AND HOWEVER YOU HAVE UNDERSTOOD YOUR TEACHERS …
On these levels you will understand and grasp this message. It is not enough that this message is believed. It is a message to be lived. 

The essence of Universal Religion is Peace and Truth, with Love for and Kindness to all the creatures of the earth. Now is the time to explore this essence in your own life. A beginning must be made, and the place to begin is with and in you. 

You would reform the world? Begin with yourself, brother! The message of the unreformed reformer seldom inspires reformation. 

The heart of all Religion is love. And righteousness, which is love in action, is the fulfillment of Religion. Love not only family and friends - for love limited is love denied. 

Seek peace within yourself and seek too, within yourself the Divine Breath of Life. 

Persist in these things! Do not let up for a single moment! 

Through your faith and your deeds you shape your life and help shape the lives of others, as well. 

What a responsibility! The Spirit finds in you its agent and also its partner, and is, to the degree that you are aware of this and act on it, higher than your most exalted dreams. 

The New Age is coming, and in it the various Religions will disappear. The good, which is in each of them, will have fused and will become the common goal of all mankind. 

Know that you have the power to choose! Choose love, not hate; choose gentleness, not violence; choose holiness, not evil! Dare to believe that the Reign of Love and Peace is coming soon! Ready yourself for it! Ready yourself for it with deeds of righteousness! Righteousness is the door opener, and beyond the door is love. May power divine enter every aspect of your life endowing it with the rewards of material accomplishment, the treasures of purposeful existence, and the eternal light of spiritual achievement!

***

I found it while I was a student at Wayne State University in the early 70's.  It's words are refreshing.  I contemplate this for a bit and then decide to look for Hedges again.  I grab a stack of magazines with a bound textbook from an Existentialism class that I took.

Then this stack of papers falls on the floor and opens up to this page... a page I had not recalled ever reading.




The word Lakota jumped out at me.  It was the whale looking at me through the ice.  I take these to be God moments.  When I'm unsure of myself I seem to find these, or perhaps they find me or maybe we find each other.  Herman Melville certainly saw God in the Great White Whale.

Last weekend the priest at my church ended our conversation with "Remember, with faith we can move mountains."
"I know", I responded.  Because I do know.  I know because of moments like these.
I know because I see God as being very close to us.

Sometimes in order to find God we have to break through a little ice. (See Comments)

The End